The Way He’d Make Me Feel

I’m 25, I’m single and everybody except me is wondering why and quite a few have decided it’s their personal responsibility to set me up with the dream boy. Especially at weddings and family events, cupid sports a saree, big kumkum and comes smiling and ask fondly about my career, education and blah blah. “What are your expectations?” that question my friend, comes out to me in slow motion and I wince at every syllable that comes out of that heavily lipsticked mouth.

The question, in my humble opinion, is pointless. Which girl would ever say, “Yes aunty, bring on a drug addict, who looks like shit, doesn’t earn much and yeah the meaner the better.” Okay fine, I said it once to an aunt of mine but hello that was sarcasm! We all want the best!

But none the less, I want to think it out. What do I really want? Does he have to be rich, does he have to be a stunner, should he be funny, should he be a cook, should he blah blah blah!

And yeah, I don’t care about his profession, caste, complexion or whatever. I still wonder how those parameters help me decide if i want to spend the rest of my life with someone. So then what am I looking for?

I want a guy I can’t wait to see every day (yeah clichéd, i know!), somebody I can be myself with, somebody who understands why I do the stupid things I do, somebody who gets annoyed with those silly things and yet loves me enough to roll his eyes and put up with it. I want a guy who doesn’t make me feel like an idiot for being a klutz. I want someone who will catch me when I have my bizarre falls and then laugh about them with me. I want a guy who knows if I’m going to laugh or scream from the way my nose flares up. I want to be able to tell from his voice if something’s bothering him.

When we go out, I want him to know which table to pick, so I don’t crib. And I want to be able to order his dish, perfect to his taste without him having to say it. And once we place the order, I just want him to hold my hand and smile. I want to be able to sit with him, not say word and still feel content. I want to love his madness, his stupid ways and I want to love each and every one of his flaws. I want to crib about them, I want us to fight. I want us both to feel miserable after the fight, but still be eager to bury the hatchet.

I want all of that and I want to feel all of that for my man. Ab bolo, hai koi nazar mein?

PS: I’m singing ‘The Way You Make Me Feel‘ an old old song by Ronan Keating… ‘yeah, you somehow make things right :)

Dating vs Relationships

Confession: I haven’t dated much. My relationships (barely any I’ve had) they’ve been a case of ‘friends become lovers’. Yeah, I can’t exactly call myself an expert on the game of dating, really. But I am a romantic, and I have always been fascinated by love. My quest for love has been interesting. I’ve met boys through the parental route (don’t yawn, its exciting, okay?), through friends (they worry about me and my cynical romanticism). It’s been a fun year dating, sure, but I guess I long for the comfort that a relationship offers. I long to meet a guy who makes me feel comfortable. Comfortable for what and who I am without the frills or the pretences.

Dating is fun, it’s exciting. Which idiot wouldn’t love the anticipation, the excitement, the extra effort to ‘win over’? But at the end of the day, the thrill does die down and you do stop trying too hard (or you completely stop trying at all o_0). Does that mean the excitement is over? I don’t think so.

Beyond that third date the pretences are gone, the guards are dropped and what’s awesome is that you get excited by the real ‘them’. You don’t need to see them dressed hot or smelling good, you just need to feel the warmth of their hug and take in the scent of their ragged old tshirt and feel good!
Of course, beyond the third date, you start investing emotionally and it’s a high risk high return investment (I think I just made my dad proud!) but is it worth it? What if it’s the wrong person? What if he or she doesn’t feel the same about you? What if?
Well as Paulo Coelho says in Brida, to find true love, you need to risk getting hurt. It’s essential to the search.

And in case a relationship gets too boring, you can always surprise each other with a date night where you act all nervous like it’s your first date! A little role play never hurt anyone, now, did it? (I’m told it’s a turn on even! Double deal!)

For more dope check out the podcast that inspired this post: http://www.yaymen.com

Metaphor For A Metaphor

Metaphor: it has defined much in life. It has complicated things and yet simplified so much. Metaphor is what I hide behind when im too cowardly to be in your face and one such night, I tweeted about my love for Metaphor.
Metaphor became the soul of conversation that night. Metaphor was the flavour of that night and metaphor came screaming back to me. He made me choke up with emotion and made me poetic. And here is a poem I ended up tweeting:

Metaphor is an empty perfume bottle I remember you by,
Metaphor is a supressed old flame…
Metaphor is an old T-shirt I hold dear,
Metaphor is the warmth when Ur here.
Metaphor: that’s all I have…

Metaphor is that teardrop that fell,
Telling my heart to bid you farewell.
Metaphor is that batting eyelid,
It captures the memory before it spills…

And then, magically, the poem became interactive.

@ashumhatre: Metaphor is that stain on the old shirt, metaphor is our relationship and its dust. Metaphors : That’s all we had! ;)

And the sweetest  replies came from @baxiabhishek:
I’ll be the jeans to that tee, i’ll be there where calls thee. :)
I’ll be the tissue to wipe the tear, you called me, so i’m here.

This entire metaphor talk made me think. We don’t hide behind metaphors. We use them to enhance what we have to say. Being obvious isn’t very charming, now is it?
Metaphor gives us the license to beat around the bush and it connects two things perfectly well. There’s nothing clever about metaphor. Metaphor is just natural…

And while I’m on metaphor:
Metaphor is a friend that tells,
All, in due time, will be well.
Metaphor is a friend, who understands,
What is hidden behind your metaphors so grand.
Metaphor is a friend who knows,
Exactly how a metaphor grows…

This one’s for all you metaphor tweeters: @baxiabhishek @ashumhatre @unitechy @mriganayanika @fossiloflife @menonhari @archisM @avgs @ideasmithy @simplymalyalee @aalaap (who’s too straight-froward to use metaphor, we understand!)

Parchai

Ek zindagi Kai kahaniyan,
ek kahani kai parchaiyyan
Ek parchai hai Jo saath chalti hai
Mujhse Kai sawal poochti hai…
Jawab kaise dun, Mai nahi janti,
Har jawab mein ek nayi kahani,
Ek nayi zindagi…

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