Of Planet M, Boyzone and the days we used to pay to posess music

No matter what they tell you… A hot air balloon and god looking boys singing to me…

That’s what I remember of this song. I was a geek who couldn’t get words right in a song back then. Whenever the song played on the radio, I’d pay close attention to their voices which were as smooth as their clean shaven faces… How I longed to own the cassette and just as I finished saving up the paisa, BCCL launched their music store, Planet M. My dad decided that it would be a great Sunday activity to trudge all the way to VT and spend the afternoon surfing. The afternoon turned into late evening as we browsed through CDs, cassettes and what not. CDs used to cost about Rs.600/- back then and the good daughter that I was, I picked all the CDs of the albums I wanted and asked someone to help me locate the cassettes. They cost Rs.125/- which was also a huge amount for the teenager I was, but hey!

My dad saw what I was doing and put his hand on my shoulder. ‘CDs are far better and they are the future, forget the cassettes, get the CDs,’ he told me. He picked up rock and roll, R&B, Rock, Soul and I stuck to Hindi films, boy bands and a load of stuff that a teenager’s music dreams were made of. I glanced at his pile, and I wondered why I didn’t have my dad’s taste in music. I was afraid he’d be ashamed of my bubble-gum taste in music. Even if he was, he never let me feel that way.

At the cash counter, we realized that we had picked up CDs worth nearly 16 grand. No point in being greedy and with a heavy heart we downsized our shopping baskets. Eventually we coughed up nearly 9 grand on CDs and though it was a number that looked better than 16K, it was an exorbitant sum.
“Why can’t simple things like music be free Dad?” I asked, afraid that with my Rs.200/- allowance, I’d never be able to make such a big purchase again.
He shrugged. About six to seven months later, I discovered Napster…

‘Dad, come come let me show you this,’ I gushed about Napster and how music was now going to be free.
‘You’re lucky,’ is all he said. He continued to listen to his CDs and admire his LPs but on his 51st birthday, me and the sister gifted him an iPod. The fat, 40GB one, And all his CDs were sent into a cupboard…

I guess I’ll never be able to thank him enough for being so generous to me. I guess I will never know the kind of effort he’d gone through back in the day to lay his hands on an album he wanted to listen to. I guess I will never understand how he had to deal with parents who didn’t appreciate loud ‘Kiristav’ (Christians in Marathi) music blaring from their very ‘Marathi’ household. But I know this, I will always be grateful to him for making me and the sister who we are today. We will always be thankful to him for giving to us, his musical ear.

I don’t know what spurred this post on… I was looking for something and landed on a pile of Rolling Stone magazines from the 80s that Vivek Kaka gifted me, and then I found dad’s LPs and then I found the CDs we bought at Planet M. It’s always good to give your memories a chance to flow out on paper, isn’t it?

No matter what they tell you… A hot air balloon and god looking boys singing to me… That’s what I remember of this song. I was a geek who couldn’t get words right in a song back then. Whenever the song played on the radio, I’d pay close attention to their voices which were as smooth as their clean shaven faces… How I longed to own the cassette and just as I finished saving up the paisa, BCCL launched their music store, Planet M. My dad decided that it would be a great Sunday activity to trudge all the way to VT and spend the afternoon surfing. The afternoon turned into late evening as we browsed through CDs, cassettes and what not. CDs used to cost about Rs.600/- back then and the good daughter that I was, I picked all the CDs of the albums I wanted and asked someone to help me locate the cassettes. They cost Rs.125/- which was also a huge amount for the teenager I was, but hey!
My dad saw what I was doing and put his hand on my shoulder. ‘CDs are far better and they are the future, forget the cassettes, get the CDs,’ he told me. He picked up rock and roll, R&B, Rock, Soul and I stuck to Hindi films, boy bands and a load of stuff that a teenager’s music dreams were made of. I glanced at his pile, and I wondered why I didn’t have my dad’s taste in music. I was afraid he’d be ashamed of my bubble-gum taste in music. Even if he was, he never let me feel that way.
At the cash counter, we realized that we had picked up CDs worth nearly 16 grand. No point in being greedy and with a heavy heart we downsized our shopping baskets. Eventually we coughed up nearly 9 grand on CDs and though it was a number that looked better than 16K, it was an exorbitant sum.
“Why can’t simple things like music be free Dad?” I asked, afraid that with my Rs.200/- allowance, I’d never be able to make such a big purchase again.
He shrugged. About six to seven months later, I discovered Napster…
‘Dad, come come let me show you this,’ I gushed about Napster and how music was now going to be free.
‘You’re lucky,’ is all he said. He continued to listen to his CDs and admire his LPs but on his 51st birthday, me and the sister gifted him an iPod. The fat, 40GB one, And all his CDs were sent into a cupboard…
I guess I’ll never be able to thank him enough for being so generous to me. I guess I will never know the kind of effort he’d gone through back in the day to lay his hands on an album he wanted to listen to. I guess I will never understand how he had to deal with parents who didn’t appreciate loud ‘Kiristav’ (Christians in Marathi) music blaring from their very ‘Marathi’ household. But I know this, I will always be grateful to him for making me and the sister who we are today. We will always be thankful to him for giving to us, his musical ear.
I don’t know what spurred this post on… I was looking for something and landed on a pile of Rolling Stone magazines from the 80s that Vivek Kaka gifted me, and then I found dad’s LPs and then I found the CDs we bought at Planet M. It’s always good to give your memories a chance to flow out on paper, isn’t it?

RIP MJ

When you wake up, you happen to check facebook for birthdays and you read RIP Michael Jackson in your timeline, you know it’s a sad sad sad day. I went numb. How can he die? He used to live in Neverland, for crying out loud. No no no! But then the news channels confirmed it and I couldn’t help but shed a few tears. Michael Jackson was my hero not for a year or two, not a teenage obsession. He was ‘the’ dude, I’ve always thought. Laser Discs (they never caught on) had just arrived and dad bought a player and got the Dangerous LD for us to watch. His music videos, tours, were all covered in that video and that’s how my love affair with the man’s music began.

Our generation might have seen many pop icons, influences, but what MJ did to our generation is significant. His whacky videos, his gyrating moves, his expressiveness. Those things made us… Everybody wanted to dance like him everybody wanted to have his style, his panache. He was the ‘shit’, as they say.

His music ranged from pop to rock to soul. And it really did rock the late 80s and 90s. When he sang the Free Willy theme, he actually formed a bond with the whale, Keiko. He poured his soul into his music. He spoke about dangerous girls, racial discrimination, burning up the dance floors but he also told us to make the world a better place. He made us believe in making an effort to make sure the world was a happier place for the coming generations. But that said, his personal life was a complete mess. He married the King of RocknRoll’s daughter. He fathered illegitimate children. And the worse was when he was tried for pedophilia, in which he was found not guilty. And let’s leave that at that! Enigma, mystery and controversy, he lived a life full of it and yet he once famously said, “I’m just like anyone. I cut, bleed and get easily embarrassed”

MJ… He sure made the world a better place for you and for me and the entire human race with his music… There’s a place in my heart and I know that you are still rocking it in there. Because you will be alive in the millions hearts that learned to beat to your rhythm. Whatever the controversies, one cannot deny the fact that he leaves behind a legacy- his music.

R I P King Of Pop. You are not like anyone and there will be none like you.

Drowned In Gulaal!

The timing of Gulaal’s release is just fantastic. Right after Holi and just before elections. Gulaal tells the story of a nobody, Dileep Singh. This nobody is a colourless, passionless character who is a student who looks like a professor. He’s straightforward and never challenges things that happen to him. He takes to the shadows of Rananjay Singh, a hot blood youth who doesn’t fear challenges- a ‘true’ Rajput. As Rananjay steps in to contest for the post of GS, the college turns into a battle field. In the fight for the post, two candidates put everything at stake. It is this fight for power that starts adding colour to our straightforward protagonist.

Gulaal’s story is multi layered and it unfolds itself. But the beauty is in the characters. Every character is complex and alive and it is through them that the story unfolds. The characters create the story and vice-versa, a give and take one rarely sees in Indian cinema. Kashyap’s Gulaal uses characters as a form of telling the story but his characters are also metaphors and symbols. Be it the John Lennon that hangs in Prithvibana’s neck or the dancer/beautician’s obsession with herself, or the Kiran who silently plucks the strings on her guitar as her brother decides the course of her life. Kashyap uses music, lyrics and musical metaphors brilliantly. Of course the neon signs and the psychedelic paintings at Dileep’s residence remind us of Dev D.

When Mr. Kashyap says this is his angriest film till date, you believe it. He uses every possible metaphor to bring out the anger, frustration and disappointment that he feels against the establishment or the system in which people become an establishment. The rendition of ‘Yeh Duniya Agar’ from Pyasa just takes this entire symphony to a climax, where you soak in the anger and you watch it helpless swallow and digest all that comes in its way. It takes me back to the original song, where Guru Dutt dies in a stampede at a function held in his honour and nobody recognises him. And here, we have Dileep, who wonders if he recognises himself as he walks down a street, wounded. It’s a similar ethos, but brilliantly executed in the context of Gulaal.

It depressed me to see an empty theatre on day 4 of this fabulous film. It didn’t deserve an empty theatre, I clapped after the film, for films like these need to be made. Films that use reality to tell a fictional story that is ever so cleverly crafted needs to be seen and appreciated. Overheard after the movie: Dude, Bhojpuri films are not as bad as they’re made out to be. This one was serious and all that! Right! I’m glad the theatre wasn’t as empty as this woman’s brain.

Cheers, Mr. Kashyap!

Mamma Mia I’m Impressed

During the summer that me and my sister spent holidaying in UK, we waited and waited for a cheaper ticket to show up for the musical, Mamma Mia. We ended up not seeing the show and when I saw the movie today I realized what a fool I was to try and save a few pennies (well pounds actually).
The movie version of the musical is absolutely over the top, full of drama and still has the hangover of a typical musical (the yelling shrieking and flailing of hands all the time!)

All said and done, for an ABBA fan, its an absolute treat. With the picturesque Greece and good looking people, the song n dance story takes you into a different world. However, if you’re not into ABBA, it’s just another chick flick with a whole lot of singing, dancing and more. The karaoke lyrics for all the songs were fabulous and I was singing along shamelessly! There is a magic about ABBA’s music!
The Bollywood fan in me couldn’t help but curse Sawan Kumar Tak for distastefully copying the story and making Mother with horrifying Rekha and all!
Meryl Streep’s rendition of The Winner Takes it all was fabulous. She is natural, composed and emotes brilliantly. Donna couldn’t be Donna without Streep’s exceptional performance (much like Miranda Preece of Devil Wears Prada)
Pierce Brosnan’s attempts at singing are cute but the dude can’t sing to save his life. Oh but he looks gorgeous!
I couldn’t help but think again and agin how they executed the story on a stage. I could almost imagine colourful lights, grandiose sets and a brilliant cast and I was aching to see the musical more than the film. What I really liked about the movie was the grandeur that it retained.  It goes over the top at times, but Mamma Mia, how can they resist it.

Thank you for the music!

July July

July was fabulous. I was on my toes with work and yet I ended up watching a lot of films, reading some books and enjoying quality time with family and friends. So here is a quick recap:

Films: It was raining good cinema for me this month. I got my BigFLIX membership in place, so have caught up on my backlog of films to watch. So yes, there was a lot of cinema. I enjoyed watching Jaane Tu… in the theatre with Sneha, Jugal and Nanya. It was funny, how I ended up watching Girl Interrupted and The Dark Knight back to back. I saw a lot, I repeat a lot of films last month. Girl Interrupted inspired me to write this: http://compulsivewriter.wordpress.com/2008/07/27/sanity-in-insanity/

Music: Mainly tripped on Hindi music this month. I had criticised Kahin toh from Jaane tu because it was ripped off from an English song. But the lyrics are just so beautiful. ‘Jaane na kahan who duniya hai/Jaane na who hai bhi ya nahin/ Jahan meri Zindagi mujhse/ Itni Khafa nahin’

Of course, Simon&Garfunkel are still ruling the iPod!

Ambition: I want to buy a new phone. But I can’t decide which one

Dreams: Weird stuff. Pannu and me planning to leave for a long holiday, then there was one where I was ill and didn’t want to tell people… Just a lot of weird shit

Moments: Quite a few that made me smile. There are people around me who have such immense faith in my writing! Thanks Avya kaka, Mohit, Nani, Sneha and Jugal!

Regrettable: Watching City of Dreams. As Omu called it- City of Nightmares

Boohoo factor: Pannu left for Jaipur and I won’t be seeing her for 2 months! Boohoo!

Food: Yet again I have been well nourished! Ate everything and the last two weeks, I have gone for meat like never before. I enjoyed a nice meal at Da Vinci with Omu dada… Mom’s birthday dinners were good stuff. The rooftop restaurant at Orchid is so lovely. On a rainy day, the cool breeze, the pitter patter of rain and the well lit runway just make the place magical. The food is just about okay, and the service, just about alright!

We also went to Gaylords for a meal and the conversation that night was fodder for thought. It gave birth to a post. http://compulsivewriter.wordpress.com/2008/07/31/homage/

People: I met up with Avya kaka for a great lunch. One of the best evenings I had was a Sunday, where I met Om after a long time. We sat and talked and talked, as usual. After that I met Sneha and Jugal, we drove to MIG in his new car! We had great food, great conversation and then another fancy drive. We ate ice-cream, walked near Carter Road… Friends make life worth living.

Missing: Shefali and our late night dinners and ‘discussions’ at 59 east slope! Lathia and Satam, they just haven’t met me in a long time. Urvashi Rao, for the walks at SP, random movies and intense discussions about fate, people and life… Basically, I have been missing friends.

Dreading: How hectic work’s going to get soon

Enjoying: A thousand splendid suns

Wondering: How can things like height, complexion, income and location help someone find the love of their lives!

Figuring out: What do I exactly want?

Follow the sound of silence

There’s something about Simon&Garfunkel that makes you think think think. Here’s a story.

Saturday evening. An exercise addict who had decided that this was going to be a day of rest has ventured out. The grey clouds covered the setting sun and a cool breeze rustled the leaves. The dogs in the park barked playfully and children cooed and shrieked with glee. She did not want to listen to them; she plugged her ear phones and started walking. The radio was playing songs that didn’t mean much. She was restless, flipping through the radio, skipping to the walk. Suddenly, she heard a familiar tune. “Hello darkness my old friend,” and she stopped for a minute. The line just connected with her. The sound of silence breezed through her mind.

‘Hello darkness, my old friend,
I’ve come to talk with you again,
Because a vision softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence’

Sang the duo to the arpeggios in the background, just as a huge group of women passed her, their lips moving frantically, but the girl heard only the sounds of silence. She looked up at the swishing trees and the numerous ongoing cricket games on the ground. She wanted to be alone. She turned into a lonely street and walked in the sound of silence.

‘In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone,
’neath the halo of a street lamp,
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of
A neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence’

The light nearly blinded her and reminded her she wasn’t alone. She couldn’t be alone in this city, bustling with people at all hours. Solitude is a luxury here. And yet, people surrounded by people are lonely within, helpless and lonely. They have forgotten how to long for a friend or a companion. Friends are people who might help you in your career. Every relationship is a result of a vested interest. And yet, you are never alone.

‘And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more.
People talking without speaking,
People hearing without listening,
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence’

But she felt a fierce need to belong somewhere. The fancy cars, with fancy lights failed to excite her. She pitied the guys flashing the fancy mobiles and gizmos. She can’t belong here, so she seeked Silence. Solitude. Sobreity.

She walked alone, locking herself away from the world. She ignored the calls flashing on her mobile. She wanted to catch the sounds of silence.

‘Fools said I, you do not know
Silence like a cancer grows.
Hear my words that I might teach you,
Take my arms that I might reach you.
But my words like silent raindrops fell,
And echoed
In the wells of silence’

She jacks up the volume on her ear-piece, and drowns herself in the song. She only wants to listen to more of it. For a moment, she closes her eyes to see what the sound of silence feels like.

In the world outside her earphones a loud screech and a honk, and she falls to the ground, the headphones separated from the phone, it continues to play the song she was engulfed in and a mob gathers around her.

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon God they made.
And the sign flashed out its warning,
In the words that it was forming.
And the signs said, the words of the prophets
Are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls.
And whispered in the sounds of silence.’

And she’s still listening to the sound of silence…

June Songs

So June has come and gone. I have been blogging heavily and just reading through the past posts makes me realise that I can revisit my life anytime. So I am going to put down stuff that needs to be maintained (Remember my worry that my memories might go?)

So here’s how my past month was:

Mood: more or less mad

Work: it was a busy month. Had the CJ contest and a whole lot of other stuff to organise

Happiness: I appreciate the lovely time with the sister while the parents were on vacation. The sister has finished her Ogilvy internship and we’ve had a whole new wardrobe courtesy parents’ trip to UK.

Music: I was into a lot of radio, but I also managed to organise the 9000 songs on my computer, so there was a lot of Simon and Garfunkel. I love listening to happy and mellow love songs. The monsoon called for it. Also, absolutely tripped on Kabhie Kabhie Aditi from Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na.

Friends: Sneha, Jugal came over to eat food cooked by moi. Om joined us too… a lovely evening J Pannu started working with Kuku and man I am excited about the fact that she’s working with someone I thought was hot on screen…. Hehe… I am so filmy! Satam has had a rough patch with her Dad being unwell, but she will bounce back and uncle will be up and about soon.

Reading: I read chick lit through June. First I endured How Opal Mehta Got Kissed… and then I read Salam Paris by Kavita Daswani. They were a good brush through. But right now, I m right in the middle of The Secret by Rhonda Byrnes and I am loving it.

Dreams: There have been mad dreams, some feel good, some shocking and some just about forgettable.

Movies: Sarkar Raj, Sex and the City and Indiana Jones are the movies I saw at a theatre. I revisited many movies through the month on telly. I revisited Bicycle Thieves in the last week of June and it touched me just as deeply. Me and Nani also caught Sideways, which too the meaning of ‘wine’ to whole new level. Of course, Kuch Kuch Hota Hai was revisited too.

Disappointment: I was very excited about my BIGFlix membership but their service has really let me down. I hope they pull their act together, so I can watch more movies and be happy J

Hope: I’ve learnt to enjoy my family’s indulgence in the idea of my wedding. It gives them joy and I think the joy’s rubbing off me too…

Love: I want it but whenever it comes on its own… Meanwhile, I am in love with the idea of love…. *smiles*

Achievement: I saw my pictures from a couple of years ago. I’ve lost a lot of weight, I definitely dress better and I am happy about that. But I m happy knowing that I was happy with the tomboy I was too! Nanu, thanks for inspiring me to kick the fat off…

Favourite place: Five gardens. Walking there soothes me. I owe it to the iPod

Food: I have indulged this month. Right from chicken hot n sour soups to tuna subs… I ate it all. Loved cooking the squid ink pasta and totally loved eating at Open Affair at Bandra. The food was strictly okay but it was a windy day by the sea… Wonderful ambience.

I am a sucker for meat but I have enjoyed vegetarian food through most of the month and I’m loving it.

Dance: Banana Bar, random music with Om. Thanks for coming back to Mumbai brother…

Talk: Sneha and Nani- heavy discussions about life, people and more… Love them both…

Wanted to: Spend more time with Pannu… July will be the month  

 

 

Daddy Cool

Hey! Its father’s day. Well we as a family don’t believe in the concept of mother’s day or father’s day, but since my parents are away travelling, I decided to write something for my Dad. The newspapers are talking about celebrity Dads, gifts for Dads, memories of dad and blah and blah. None of this made me get up and hug my Dad. (He hates hugs and all that but I love them and he has to endure them!) But one particular newspaper had listed 20 phrases all fathers utter at least once. And this piece made me want to hug my Dad. Nah, not because those phrases reminded me of him, but because he had not said any of those things ever to me or my sister. So here is a list of things that make him that cool dad who doubles up as a friend. Thanks dad for:

1. Always answering our silly questions! Be it why do aeroplanes fly to where do babies come from. He answered them all without shutting me up

2. For putting together a list of CDs on our trip to Goa in 2000, to ‘educate’ me in music. He got me hooked to Phil Collins, Simon & Garfunkel, Dire Straits, Guns N Roses (you read right, my Dad introduced me to the concept of head-bangin!), Foreigner and many other cool bands. That trip changed the way I perceived music.

3. Always letting us have whatever we wanted right from music systems to video games, but always making sure we earned them by performing a task.

4. Buying me all the movies I wanted!

5. Buying me books that’d make my day! Right from Single in the city to collected plays of Neil Simon to Kurt Cobain’s biography.

6. Letting me dream big and supporting me through those mad dreams I’d try to realise.

7. Supporting me emotionally and financially for a Creative writing degree in UK…

8. Not giving me the classic ‘What do you want to do with your life’ gyaan

9. Not cringing when I decided to not work and write a novel.

10. Not cringing when I gave up a job to write, yet again

11. For singing sweet child o mine for me on my birthdays!

12. For taking me to my first rock concert! Jai Rolling Stones :-)

13. For being a Dad who gives me an infinite list of things that make him a rocking Father!

Idol Worship

Getting to work on a Tuesday is a nightmare. Not because the Monday morning blues hit me a day late, but because it’s the day to pray to Lord Ganesha. I have to usually pass through an area that is home to one of the most revered (also read: glamorous) Ganesha Temple in Mumbai- Siddhivinayak Temple.

The queue to catch a glimpse of Ganesha spills out on the road, causing a terrible traffic jam. Add to that the flower-sellers, policemen, hawkers. But on a day when the superstar family- The Big B (Amitabh Bachchan), Small B (ABhishek) and Bahurani (Aishwarya Rai), decide to drop in on foot- the chaos goes to a super higher level. I do wonder, how many of them come to see Ganesha and how many to see the Bachchans?

Faith drives people to do crazy things. They give up an entire day to wait for hours for darshan, which literally means- a glimpse!

Yesterday, there was another line around the curb. The queue poured onto a playground and was much longer than the usual one. The queue was made up of young boys mostly, dressed trendily as opposed to traditionally. This line looked pretty different. I assumed they were waiting for the superstar. But he had come and gone. A big billboard read- Indian Idol 4, the Mumbai auditions. The audition was happening in a thater complex right next to the temple. These people were waiting for their chance to be an Idol and not just a glimpse of an idol.

I thought faith makes us do crazy things, but fame beats faith hands down. People quit jobs, colleges and even get loans to just get that one chance to be famous… With fame come glitz, glamour and money. And those three have a fan-base that’s stronger than that of faith.

People have a lot of faith in fame. With that faith in fame, a Maria decides to cheat on her boyfriend to hopes to land a dream role. With that faith in fame, the media splashes her face across television. The same faith in fame drives thousands of people to frustration every day, sometimes pushing them to extremes. A producer kills an actor, a young boy robs a shop, girls agree to compromise on their morals and the list goes on.

Rocking and rolling

On a lazy Saturday morning, I settle down with the latest issue of the Rolling Stone magazine (the Indian edition). The first thing that has me going wow, is the Royal Enfield advertisement. It’s not an advert; it’s a style statement. I am hooked to the magazine and as I turn a few pages start feeling the restlessness, so much so that I tear myself away from the magazine because I can’t handle the restlessness. I have an itch to listen to Dylan, when I do, I want to write something- it’s like a restlessness set off by an addiction.

I have decided that my new aim is to one day work for this magazine. Not that I hate my job right now, but I think for me to be a writer for the Rolling Stone magazine would be the ULTIMATE job. I enjoy the restlessness, because it inspires me to do something. Nothing definitive, but it sends me on this trip to create. It sensitizes me in a very vague manner. So to cut a long story short, it gives my creative drive a damn good boost.

This is the effect of reading about music. I tried learning to make music, but I figured I am a better listener than a player. But, there’s no denying that I have a deep connect with music, any music.

If I ever end up working for the Rolling Stone magazine, I figure that it would the ultimate inspiration high ever. I could be wrong but to me, it wouldn’t be just a job. It would be a dream statement, it would be my raison d’etre.

You wanna know why? Read this email I sent to my Dad while I was in the UK:

All’s well in the The Stones’ land! Trying not to miss the city of blinding lights but I can’t live with or without it… I’ve got to find my stairway to heaven and I can’t get no satisfaction but I am also aware that you can’t always get what you want, and you do get stuck in a moment that you can’t get out of… but then you find the answer and it is blowing in the wind…

PS: I applied to the magazine when I heard it was launching in India… I didn’t get it. I don’t know why. But I still hope and I still aspire… After all the Stones said that you can’t always get what you want, but you try sometimes…

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