Metaphor For A Metaphor

Metaphor: it has defined much in life. It has complicated things and yet simplified so much. Metaphor is what I hide behind when im too cowardly to be in your face and one such night, I tweeted about my love for Metaphor.
Metaphor became the soul of conversation that night. Metaphor was the flavour of that night and metaphor came screaming back to me. He made me choke up with emotion and made me poetic. And here is a poem I ended up tweeting:

Metaphor is an empty perfume bottle I remember you by,
Metaphor is a supressed old flame…
Metaphor is an old T-shirt I hold dear,
Metaphor is the warmth when Ur here.
Metaphor: that’s all I have…

Metaphor is that teardrop that fell,
Telling my heart to bid you farewell.
Metaphor is that batting eyelid,
It captures the memory before it spills…

And then, magically, the poem became interactive.

@ashumhatre: Metaphor is that stain on the old shirt, metaphor is our relationship and its dust. Metaphors : That’s all we had! ;)

And the sweetest  replies came from @baxiabhishek:
I’ll be the jeans to that tee, i’ll be there where calls thee. :)
I’ll be the tissue to wipe the tear, you called me, so i’m here.

This entire metaphor talk made me think. We don’t hide behind metaphors. We use them to enhance what we have to say. Being obvious isn’t very charming, now is it?
Metaphor gives us the license to beat around the bush and it connects two things perfectly well. There’s nothing clever about metaphor. Metaphor is just natural…

And while I’m on metaphor:
Metaphor is a friend that tells,
All, in due time, will be well.
Metaphor is a friend, who understands,
What is hidden behind your metaphors so grand.
Metaphor is a friend who knows,
Exactly how a metaphor grows…

This one’s for all you metaphor tweeters: @baxiabhishek @ashumhatre @unitechy @mriganayanika @fossiloflife @menonhari @archisM @avgs @ideasmithy @simplymalyalee @aalaap (who’s too straight-froward to use metaphor, we understand!)

10,000 is just a number

So while i was sleeping last night, my blog crossed 10,000 hits. Yes, I know, to some this might be a trivial number, but I will celebrate it. Over the last year, I’ve written about film, music and everything under the sun. I have loads more to write about, loaaads. So stay tuned. Thank you for the encouragement and comment love… I’m going to drink up now! Yaaaay!

Plathish Thoughts

A dream, a scent, an idea and emotion
Every night I scribbled with complete devotion
Your eyes your smile,
Even the slightest of your reaction…
I would sit and wait and watch,
Waiting for you to materialize
You stayed on paper, locked in a diary
Smiling as I painfully realized
Yes you were my imagination
But mine you were and I was yours
The wheels were set in motion!

Reminds me of Sylvia Plath’s ‘Mad Girl’s Love Song’ that we used in a film a while back…

I shut my eyes and the world drops dead,

I think I made you up inside my head…

Gender Bender

‘What did I ever do that you found such a weird name to give me?’ I remember asking my Mom every single day when I was a kid. Yes, I was the girl who was always asked ‘Why do you have a guy’s name?’

Then I became the girl who was called ‘shakti kapoor’ ‘shakti man’ and what not! The worst day of my school life was my 11th birthday. The school would put up your name on the notice board with flowers to wish you a happy birthday and I was pretty kicked about it. So imagine my horror when they wrote my name as Mast. Shakti Salgaokar on the blackboard! As I stood there in front of the highly decorated notice board, watching my dream wilt through the haze of my tears, every single person passing pointed to me and laughed, ‘They thought you were a guy!’

I went on to be a tomboy who took great pleasure in thrashing ‘stupid’ boys. Of course, terrorizing the ‘stupid’ boys helped. The jokes on my name obviously stopped, but somewhere, the guys all forgot I was a girl.

Of course, through college I continued to be a tomboy and only discovered the joy of being ‘girl’ like recently. That’s a different story (you can read it here). I love my name, it’s different and I have found peace with being myself!

So why am I writing this? Because something happened and I am revisiting my childhood traumas. You all know how super thrilled I am about twitter (In case, you don’t, here’s a post about it). My twitter updates have been regular and random. And I’ve even made a few friends on twitter! So anyway, I suddenly changed my twitter avatar to a nice picture of myself. And immediately, I was flooded with @ replies asking me if that was indeed me. And two tweeple actually were surprised I was a woman!

Of course, I don’t know if they were disappointed I was a woman, but I was in a bit of a shock. Did these tweeple not a get sense of my gender from my tweets? Or am I still that tomboy I used to be? I am a bit baffled. Anyway, is this a side effect of the cyberworld? You can’t see the person you’re interacting with, all you have is the assumption you’ve made about them!

PS: Check out twitter if you haven’t already done so!

Random Blog Talk

i was checking my blog stats yesterday, when a regular blogger went, ‘just 2000 views!’. Bust went my bubble. I was thrilled with the views i was getting. Well, i do obsess over my blog stats, but I just didn’t realize that 20 clicks a day was dismal.

Of course, this was followed by a two line discourse on getting more clicks. ‘Writing things that people really want to read about is the key,’ thus spake the blogging guru.

The thought doesn’t excite me. I write this blog to unwind after a hard day at work. Its a place for me to put my thoughts up. And its wrong to let the so called public demand manipulate my thoughts. So, I will not be bothered by the slow pace at which the clicks on my blog are going. All I care about is writing…

Since I am writing about my thoughts, I have something to say about the trees in five gardens. The trees in five gardens have been around  for along time. They are so dense that on a sunny day, you will none of the sun rays on the walking track.

Every morning, the sun plays hide n seek with the leaves. Hundreds of birds have made these trees their home (and that’s the reason why you find bird crap on your t-shirt occasionally…lol) When it rains, you can just hide under on of the trees and you will be safe from the rain for at least 10 minutes.

But this morning a couple of them lay broken… Not trimmed but heartlessly chopped. Why? Because they have gotten too big… How many times are we going to ignore the valuable gifts bestowed upon us by the nature???

Why?

I am wondering…

Why do we trust film critics? We all know they are moody, erratic and have odd favourites…

Why do we let other people decide the course of our lives? They end up hurting you more often than not…

Why do we make long lists about what we want? We tend not to know what we really really want unless we lose it…

Why do we obsess over what makes us look good or bad in front of people? What matters is what makes us feel good about ourselves…

Why do we always try and be much matured? It’s nice to have a touch of childhood in everything we do…

Why do we fret and fret about getting what we want? It’s nice to want and appreciate what we have…

Why do we always worry whether the dress is too tight or the shoes too simple? One smile can make you look worth a million dollars…

Just a few passing thoughts…

BMM memories…

Nostalgia is wonderful. I like listening to an old Bryan Adams track after a long time and close my eyes. I see the Podar auditorium and can smell about 300 sweaty students swinging to ‘Summer of ’69’. I open my eyes and realise that time’s gone. But for those 3 minutes, I recreate my first jam session and love every second of it.

I like smelling an empty bottle of a perfume I used to wear back in my degree college. I take in the citrusy smell and close my eyes. I am in my car, loads of friends with me, driving along, singing to songs. I open my eyes and I am back in my room, smelling an empty bottle of perfume. The projects, the songs, some places, they just take you on a minute long ride back into the past, the moments you’ve cherished and miss deeply. And you come back to the present, with a smile, realising that you’re older, maybe wiser but most importantly, how much you miss the people from those old days.

When a girl from KC called me and said that as an ex-student, I have to come for the BMM orientation, I decided to take the long and winding road back into the past.

BMM was the best thing that ever happened to me. Nah, academically it didn’t do wonders, but it changed a lot of things. I mean college does that to everybody, but I don’t think I would be the person I am today if I’d chosen to do a BA or Bcom.

If I ever wanted anything badly enough to give my life up for, it’s BMM. I strived hard through 12th to get the 50% (yeah I remembered I had to study a month before the boards!). I prepped myself up for entrances and made sure I was well-rehearsed for my personal interviews. When I got into all the colleges I applied to, I almost thanked Paulo Coelho! The universe had indeed given me what I wanted.

See! I am doing it again… Just getting lost on the long and winding road. Anyway, I landed up at the orientation, excited and all that. The same gates, the same audi…awww.

Once seated in the ‘alumni’ row, I looked around. Not a single familiar face! Once upon a time, I could’ve identified each and everyone in the audi… And just then, I saw Mr. Gupta. And, I was glad to see a familiar face. Ankit Gupta and I were classmates, project-mates and very close friends… We joked around like the good ole days, giggling but something didn’t feel the same. Ankit had changed through those years and so had I.

But we were trying hard to recreate the old days. But we saw that there people who had taken our place in the course. Our time was back then and it’s gone. So we ran for the HR Canteen, where many a love stories had bloomed, many fights materialised out of thin air and many kilos were put on. The same old hakka noodles, same old crispy noodles, we tucked in. But the fun factor was missing yet again. There was no juicy gossip on the side or eye candy for dessert. It was just not the same.

So much for nostalgia!

All of the experience left me depressed and on the ride back home, I realised I wasn’t the only one. “Our lives revolved around this college. We shouldn’t have to try so hard!” Ankit gushed. It was a shocker. Ankit was not the emotional types back in those days. We started talking about the old days, the new days and everything and I realised that though the college doesn’t hold much for me now, it is people like Ankit, Mruns, Pooja, Pranali, Satam, Lathi, Sapna, Suraj and so many more, who make me miss those days. I am glad I have these people, who each have a piece of the jigsaw puzzle of our college memories. And when we get together after 4 odd years at a random coffee shop at Bandra, we still create a halla gulla like we did in college. We still tickle each other and make screwed up faces in photos. Who needs nostalgia, when you treasure the ones you love through the years…

So this one’s for you…yes I am going to take everyone’s name here, as if it were my Oscar speech!

Sapna- My first friend in KCBMM

Nausheen- For saying ‘penneka’… haah

Sanket- for being a good sport with all the jokes made about you

Mrunmayee- A friend, fellow ponderer and of course my partner in crime in scaring couples on AC buses

Ankit- for the late night phone calls, advice on dealing with a certain boy, fighting with me through most of BMM but still being a friend I can share a laugh with.

Riddhi- for being the bholi bacchi I could educate ;) ur welcome lol!

Lathia-For singing with me in the car! Na sur na taal bus dhamaal!

Ashwini- For just being there

Pranali- For being the one and only friend who knows me better than anyone else, for so many things… I can’t include it all in just a line…

Satam- Same goes for you, thanks for chasing away my body consciousness and having faith in me throughout! LOL and of course- ‘guppa bus Shakti’! HAHAHAHAH

Delu- fellow music lover, radio enthusiast and guy basher… you have no idea babe, when I met you in London, I felt like I finally had family in a foreign land!

Shraddha- the drive to and from college, muthia and a lot more…

Nikita- my very own Maniben… never seen sans a smile… keep smiling

Sneha- her crazy jokes about the management prof… she took lectures to a whole new level!

Suraj- Haah… I have no words for this guy… Loved verbal thrashing around the whole place with him!

Mansee- The true free-spirit! Loved the little bit of hangin out we did…

Mathew- the 6th October lunches… burrrp… thank u Mat, thank you aunty!

Suhani- I haven’t met her for years, but I know that the day we meet we will connect… She and Mruns are the reason I decided I want to be a writer!

Pooja: The most straight-forward person in the class! Love u :)

I will keep adding names… I am too overwhelmed to write more… Love you all boyses and girlses…

June Songs

So June has come and gone. I have been blogging heavily and just reading through the past posts makes me realise that I can revisit my life anytime. So I am going to put down stuff that needs to be maintained (Remember my worry that my memories might go?)

So here’s how my past month was:

Mood: more or less mad

Work: it was a busy month. Had the CJ contest and a whole lot of other stuff to organise

Happiness: I appreciate the lovely time with the sister while the parents were on vacation. The sister has finished her Ogilvy internship and we’ve had a whole new wardrobe courtesy parents’ trip to UK.

Music: I was into a lot of radio, but I also managed to organise the 9000 songs on my computer, so there was a lot of Simon and Garfunkel. I love listening to happy and mellow love songs. The monsoon called for it. Also, absolutely tripped on Kabhie Kabhie Aditi from Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na.

Friends: Sneha, Jugal came over to eat food cooked by moi. Om joined us too… a lovely evening J Pannu started working with Kuku and man I am excited about the fact that she’s working with someone I thought was hot on screen…. Hehe… I am so filmy! Satam has had a rough patch with her Dad being unwell, but she will bounce back and uncle will be up and about soon.

Reading: I read chick lit through June. First I endured How Opal Mehta Got Kissed… and then I read Salam Paris by Kavita Daswani. They were a good brush through. But right now, I m right in the middle of The Secret by Rhonda Byrnes and I am loving it.

Dreams: There have been mad dreams, some feel good, some shocking and some just about forgettable.

Movies: Sarkar Raj, Sex and the City and Indiana Jones are the movies I saw at a theatre. I revisited many movies through the month on telly. I revisited Bicycle Thieves in the last week of June and it touched me just as deeply. Me and Nani also caught Sideways, which too the meaning of ‘wine’ to whole new level. Of course, Kuch Kuch Hota Hai was revisited too.

Disappointment: I was very excited about my BIGFlix membership but their service has really let me down. I hope they pull their act together, so I can watch more movies and be happy J

Hope: I’ve learnt to enjoy my family’s indulgence in the idea of my wedding. It gives them joy and I think the joy’s rubbing off me too…

Love: I want it but whenever it comes on its own… Meanwhile, I am in love with the idea of love…. *smiles*

Achievement: I saw my pictures from a couple of years ago. I’ve lost a lot of weight, I definitely dress better and I am happy about that. But I m happy knowing that I was happy with the tomboy I was too! Nanu, thanks for inspiring me to kick the fat off…

Favourite place: Five gardens. Walking there soothes me. I owe it to the iPod

Food: I have indulged this month. Right from chicken hot n sour soups to tuna subs… I ate it all. Loved cooking the squid ink pasta and totally loved eating at Open Affair at Bandra. The food was strictly okay but it was a windy day by the sea… Wonderful ambience.

I am a sucker for meat but I have enjoyed vegetarian food through most of the month and I’m loving it.

Dance: Banana Bar, random music with Om. Thanks for coming back to Mumbai brother…

Talk: Sneha and Nani- heavy discussions about life, people and more… Love them both…

Wanted to: Spend more time with Pannu… July will be the month  

 

 

Taking stock

It’s the 30th of June! I didn’t think much of it until I read this blog post: http://mysistersjar.wordpress.com/2008/06/30/june-thirtieth/

I realized after reading this post that it is indeed the half year mark for the year. Usually, I sit down in a quiet corner on New Year’s Eve, in the midst of all the chaos and wonder what the year has been like, what I have achieved and how many resolutions I have broken. I make promises to myself that the coming year will be different.

I decided to find that quiet corner right now, today. I want to think about how the year has been so far and I want to decide how I want it to be from now on. So I can just smile and spend the last few hours on New Year’s eve celebrating a year that I had.

So far, the year has been very kind to me. I brought it in with my close friends, my bond with my sister has gotten stronger, my cool brother moved back to India, I lost a few more kilos, I gifted my parents a small trip, I got a job that makes me happy, I got my act together and finished my novel and I have nurtured and been nurtured by some very wonderful friends.

It seems like it didn’t bring any problems with it. Not true, it did bring in a fair share of problems. But despite those I want to be happy about it. I have decided to overlook the problems because I’ve been surrounded by love and loads of it.

Love has come to me in abundance, but have I given back the same amount? I don’t think so. I wish I could be a better sister to Nani, a better daughter, a better granddaughter and I want to be a better friend. So yes the coming bit of the year will be all about giving back to my universe what I got from it- Love, kindness, special moments and the reason to smile.

Memories and more

I’ve decided to write down memories as they come. Because I’m scared I might lose them someday. There are memories about people, memories about places, memories about everything and anything. I have even decided to put down all the random ideas that come to my head. Reason: I think I forget them and I truly believe that they’re rocking (of course, they rock because they are MY ideas!) Also, I genuinely believe that when I am older and I look at my ideas and memories, it may give me a chance to know myself better. Let me start by explaining how I realized writing it all down is a good idea.

Flashback 2001: A hot summer afternoon in April. A girl is frantically making notes as she speaks on the phone.

“So you know someone who can do the interview or what? What’s the name? Okay, number? You sure this girl is good na?”

She picks up her cell-phone and dials another number. “Hello, is that X? Oh hi I got your number from Y. See there’s this rocking opportunity. Have you heard of Akashvani’s YuvaBharati? Ok they want two students to interview this publisher about his college days. Are you interested? No??!! Okay!”

She calls another number. “She is NOT interested! I mean, I would jump at such an opportunity!”

“I can’t do that, na. How weird will it sound, me interviewing my dad. Nah! Give me someone!”

“What’s the name you said? Rohan? Okay!”

“Hello, could I speak to Rohan?”

The voice on the phone- “Just a minute.”

After about a minute a gasping voice- “Hello, let me catch my breath! Who’s this?”

And with those words she met a soul just as excited as her. They’d meet almost every day, and would think out loud. They dreamed big and truly believed that they could rule the world one day!

They planned to colour each others’ hair, cook and eat grand meals, open an ad agency of their own and of course, there was a book in the pipeline too!

They studied hard to get into a mass media course at the college of their choice. While doing so they shared their literary, music and film interests and matured beyond their years. They shared happiness and pain, agonies and joys. It was a friendship meant to last for life.

Back to the future:

I used to write a weird journal of sorts back then, which I had stashed behind a couple of unused books and all that. Recently, while clearing out some clutter, I came across this book. I smiled, I cried, I sighed! It was just the best thing to read ever. I couldn’t believe that I was that girl. I was so naïve and yet so ambitious.

There was so much I wanted to learn and there was so much that the friendship with Rohan taught me. Right then it was all about the fun, but today when I look back, I realize that if it wasn’t for that relationship, I wouldn’t be what I am today. There are so many people, who contribute to our growth as an individual, who enrich our lives and we never even realize it.

That’s why I am going to write about them. That’s the least I can do to appreciate them…

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 76 other followers