Are Relationships About Love Anymore?

Location: Café Leopold

Time: Around 11 pm

Three girls obviously over-dressed for Leopold’s sitting in one corner. One look at them and you’d know they wanted to go some place fancy but ended up coming to this backpacker central in Mumbai. Glasses clinking, one of the girls’ phone rings. She goes out to take it.

‘That was my boyfriend. He’s so possessive! I am sick of him!’

I was a bit taken aback with that confession. This was the first time I was meeting her and I’d been introduced just about 15 minutes ago. Anyway, the friend with whom she came asked her a bit more about the situation. Turns out the girl had randomly met this guy through common friends and they got slightly infatuated with each other. ‘Four years is too long for an infatuation but!’

The guy was possessive, this girl didn’t know how to break up and that’s why she was in this ‘relationship’ with him. Of course, towards the end of the night we were figuring out some plans for next week and this girl volunteers her boyfriend to drive us around etc. I couldn’t believe it. Of course, me and my friend both asked her why she wasn’t breaking up. Her excuse was that it was ‘Convenient’ and she didn’t know how to break it off.

Convenient. This guy was of a different religion, so no future. He happened to meet her and she happened to end up with him. She hated that he was concerned about her and she says its convenient. For who?

Can she imagine what’d happen to the guy when she dumped him after 4 long years? If there is no future, why get into a relationship anyway?

Is this what our urban relationships are all about? Convenience, ease and boredom. How disrespectful is it to your partner when you publicly acknowledge your hatred for him in the same sentence that you acknowledge them as your partner?

People are dumping the ‘loves-of-their-lives’ for trivial reasons and I wont judge them. At least they’re honest with their partners about their feelings.

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8 Responses

  1. Hmm…This seems to be trend everywhere…..guys once out of there shell,usually are possessive….
    And I would hate to be in that guys place,being used etc…
    I am into this going around thing,which my other class mates do/used to do..it took them all a long to realize that they were wasting their money…
    I agree. there should be a healthy balance. but one should just break up if things rnt going welll. the reason to eb together should be love and love alone…

  2. Does the guy know what she actually thinks about him?
    Great story anyway.. Love it.. 🙂

    Of course he doesn’t know. I don’t think he’d stick around if he knew… thank u for your encouraging comment 🙂

  3. Oh! I’ve seen so many of such blunders that it doesnt surprise me anymore.. I remember once I was out with a bunch of friends and a similar sort of incident happened on the next table… We ended up in a huge discussion over this and then Bam! A guy friend says “You know, girls always like to have a stepney ( as in an extra car tyre), everywhere they go.. coz they just can not stay alone!!”

    And guess what! I completely agree… These days relationships are more of a convenient hang out zone for many.. And Love, Love has taken a back seat.. Of course exceptions are there.. 😀

    p.s. Been in Mumbai once, for a week… ended up 4 nights in a row at Café Leopold… Loved the place… 🙂

    Ah! How I long to see some old fashioned true blue romantic couples…. maybe that’s the reason why i am still single… but that’s a topic for a whole another post.
    Yeah Leopold’s lovely. And there’s something about the place that makes you think ona different level. everytime i go there, i end up with a lot of ideas in my head!
    -Shakti

  4. ah yes. this fits perfectly into one of my relationship classifications. … the girl who constantly seeks sympathy for her situation yet never EVER ends it. why are we so complicateD?

    because unless we’re like this life won’t be fun, no? -shakti

  5. this is what is happening all over the world my dear, hehe, except sometimes its not boredom, sometimes “convenience”means sex. They are getting laid and therefore it is convenient to have them around… so sex becomes a higher priority than finding the right one. By the time people think they want the right one, the right one has probably aready found the wrong one… god i hope i am wrong hahaha

    oh! i want to be a romantic, but the world forces me to be a cynic 😦 -shakti

  6. Hmmmm…….. “convenience” – the single word implies that having a partner for the peer pressure sake , having a partner for the heck of having one , having a partner as show piece , having a partner to do odd jobs like dining out , driving out , having a partner to satisfy lust … the implied meaning could be more than this.

    Love is as much as polluted like everything else in this world . well not all love but ….. lots of such :convenient: love.

  7. loved what you wrote, but it isnt the convenient love, its about dependability, its about you cant imagine another day without that person(esp after 4 years) even when u know at the end of the day you know its not the person your going to be ending with, obviously there are flaws in everyone, and almost every single guys is possessive , she cant break up because she knows deep down inside that she loves him, even though she denies it because she wants to be independent. a true romantic myself, and fascinated by all relationships.

  8. This is Chris from SingleXtianGuy.

    Wow, I am loving this post. So is type of religion really a relationship killer? I never would have thought about it like that. I always thought it kind of weird that two people who weren’t “religious” have their wedding in a church, but I never knew that people think about that kind of thing.

    Also, I love your discussion on convenience. I heard that some of the loneliest people are those in relationships. I guess if you want to get out, but can’t, that could be pretty lonely. Almost like quicksand. Love the perspective from a different source, and while we are tackling relationships in a different way, I love the insight and perspective.

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