A Complicated Status

‘Did you check facebook? She’s now listed as single!’

‘Oh I want to know what their scene is. Apparently both of them changed their status to ‘in a relationship’ at the same effin time!’

‘So am I allowed to hit on him if his status message is ‘it’s complicated’?’

Yeah, the above statements are extremely common in most conversations. Facebook is the fastest way of documenting your life and making sure your friends know what really is up with you. It’s probably a good thing according to Ms. PiWi. ‘We knew this couple from college who were so into each other, we knew they’d make it. When I bumped into the guy recently, it was natural for me to ask him about how girl was doing. And he just said they broke up and it was so damn awkward!!’ Ms.PiWi is sure that had he changed his status on FB and had she seen it, this incident would have been avoided! 

Well the relationship status also comes as a life saver when you are fishing for a prospective boy/girlfriend. Says a keen observer, ‘My friend liked a guy at work, they flirted a lot and all until one day she googled him and found his profile on facebook. He was in a relationship and my friend just withdrew from all the flirting.’ Of course, there’s another question that remains unanswered by the relationship status on FB. If someone’s relationship status is ‘It’s complicated’, what does that mean? Is this person in a relationship or out? If they are making it public that it’s complicated have they broken up? If they haven’t said they are single, re they still into the person?

According to some that status comes up when you’re in a place where you’re unsure whether you want in or out of a relationship. Some said that it was that confused stage that comes right before you start or end a relationship.

Basically, it’s complicated when you and the concerned person hit troubled waters. My take is, if your relationship is in trouble, you stay in and work it out or you opt out and choose not to work it out. I can’t understand why there’s the need to have that grey area. Anyway, a relationship status is something meant for the external world, so what are you conveying by putting the trouble in your love life out there, open to public? “I’ve never specified my status on Facebook. I don’t think it’s the kind of information I’d like to give out to all and sundry,” says AB. However, he thinks that people might change their status to ‘It’s complicated’ just to let people know that they are not comfortable talking about their relationship.  

The awkwardness could be because of trouble or uncertainty, that varies case to case. 

It’s not just trouble. It could be lack of clarity, problems that come with long distance, confusion about your or the partners’ feelings, a big decision looming or anything!’ says Mr. Bachna Ae Haseeno, who so far has been brining to my notice a fresh perspective on facebook relationship statuses. He further explains, ‘Assuming the person is a regular on facebook, you need to understand how often their relationship status changes. If it changes a bit too often, assume it is purely for attention.’ That makes me wonder, is putting your relationship status out there every time there’s a minor shift in the dynamics of your relationship just a ploy to get more attention from your partner or friends?

‘I have changed my status for the fun of it and nobody but my close friends gave a shit about it,’ says Mr.Shady. I myself have seen people suddenly ‘married’ or ‘in a relationship’ for the fun of it and I don’t bother commenting, so I understand Shady’s take on it. But Kris thinks a change in a relationship status creates too much chaos. He was in a complicated place for a year but didn’t bother budging from single to avoid the drama. I agree, the last thing you need in addition to your complications are dramatic responses to your status change.

Moral of the story: Think before you take the leap, but think thrice before you change your status.

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15 Responses

  1. ha ha,well mine will be single for a while more 😛

  2. Not to mention the live feed.

    *** has taken what kind of psychopath are you? Add application?Take the test?

    Thanks for dropping by at a wannabe superwoman!

  3. lolz..really nice suggestion at the end!!

  4. what about those kids who remain single despite being in a relationship .. playing the field ?

    ‘It’s complicated’ is a nice proxy to convey ur not dating anyone and are not interested either

  5. wow … never would’ve thought that facebook status could be written about!!! now that i read what u had to say, yep, i agree. ah we’re in the best age for voyuerism that there ever was! 🙂

  6. Well actually, the first time I did that “Status Changed” gig by mistake. When I changed back to single, bunch of close buddies were bugging me offline. Then I had to do that twice or thrice to keep their mouth shut. And now thankfully no one bothers me about it!

  7. “It’s never official until it’s on Facebook!”

  8. @vishesh: Well, dont be so sure and all!

    @WSW: the live feed is a whole new issue that merits a brand new post 🙂

    @Rahul: that comes from experience (not personal but, ive heard stories!)

    @nishank: to tell someone u r single and not interested is not the same as being ‘its complicated’. and yeah i guess the whole fb status is all about playing the field, irrespective of ur actual ‘offline’ status!

    @Roop: we put ourselves out there! and then how can we blame someone for stalking us!

    @shady: well u r right. people take it seriously for a while and get over it eventually

    @suraj: Hahah! i actually know a group of people who believe in that theory… every photo, every event must be put on fb and tagged propahly! watever

  9. the withdrawing from flirting after checking the profile status..or jus by what u can see in one’s profile is so true… ..this is usually discussed later in college while some girls will tell her..i told u so .. .. i knew there was something not quite right with him….

  10. First and foremost , i feel am outdated with some new lingos :p , what is Ms.PiWi ? 😮

    btw , abt the trend of screaming the world with status change in facebook … i think its silly . Well tats my take on it , may be am litl outdated :p

  11. oh hey!!! my one tweet made it here!!! i feel like a hounded celeb giving a soundbite to a (cute) reporter on tv!!! woo hoo!!!

    oh and nice article too!!! any more ones coming up on other social aspects of social networking?

  12. Nice Blog!! Came here for the first time, subscribing to the feeds.

  13. Most of my friends who are single ladies have put their status as committed so that other guys wont hit on them. And I seriously don’t blame them at all 🙂 Do you know the amount of corny pick-up lines etc single ladies get all the time? C’est horrible!

  14. @Karsten: coming from the editor of iDiva, i take it as an honest lead.
    @Mr. R: Its a pseudonym for someone, dont worry, ur still young 🙂
    @Krist0ph3r: u can give me ideas for posts, i m going thru a writer’s block 🙂
    @prats: thank u, glad my ramblings made some sense 🙂
    @Kima: Oh God, i know what you’re talking about. ‘i want to make frandhsips with u’ its effin annoying!

  15. good writing …my status is complicated on facebook and i like it because no more friendship requests ..

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