Dating vs Relationships

Confession: I haven’t dated much. My relationships (barely any I’ve had) they’ve been a case of ‘friends become lovers’. Yeah, I can’t exactly call myself an expert on the game of dating, really. But I am a romantic, and I have always been fascinated by love. My quest for love has been interesting. I’ve met boys through the parental route (don’t yawn, its exciting, okay?), through friends (they worry about me and my cynical romanticism). It’s been a fun year dating, sure, but I guess I long for the comfort that a relationship offers. I long to meet a guy who makes me feel comfortable. Comfortable for what and who I am without the frills or the pretences.

Dating is fun, it’s exciting. Which idiot wouldn’t love the anticipation, the excitement, the extra effort to ‘win over’? But at the end of the day, the thrill does die down and you do stop trying too hard (or you completely stop trying at all o_0). Does that mean the excitement is over? I don’t think so.

Beyond that third date the pretences are gone, the guards are dropped and what’s awesome is that you get excited by the real ‘them’. You don’t need to see them dressed hot or smelling good, you just need to feel the warmth of their hug and take in the scent of their ragged old tshirt and feel good!
Of course, beyond the third date, you start investing emotionally and it’s a high risk high return investment (I think I just made my dad proud!) but is it worth it? What if it’s the wrong person? What if he or she doesn’t feel the same about you? What if?
Well as Paulo Coelho says in Brida, to find true love, you need to risk getting hurt. It’s essential to the search.

And in case a relationship gets too boring, you can always surprise each other with a date night where you act all nervous like it’s your first date! A little role play never hurt anyone, now, did it? (I’m told it’s a turn on even! Double deal!)

For more dope check out the podcast that inspired this post: http://www.yaymen.com

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11 Responses

  1. It’s not what you call or it or the method behind the madness…

    it’s about two individuals being together, for one moment, one night, one lifetime. *That* is what bumps up all the worth and charm.

  2. Aha,nothing can surmount the amazing feeling of that unrestrained senses which one holds on a date.Those captive hours,full of instances of interlocking of eyes. Those gentle touch,which touches you inside out !
    Gosh,that’s a date !

  3. सुमुखी तुम्हारा सुन्दर मुख ही लगता कन्चन का प्याला,
    छलक रही है जिससे प्रतिपल रुप मधुर मादक हाला।
    मै ही साकी बनता मै ही पीनेवाला बनता हूँ,
    जहाँ कहीं मिल बैठे हम तुम, वहीं गई हो मधुशाला।
    – Harivansh Rai Bacchan

    That face behind thy veil, which itself is the golden grail,
    Overflowing with wine, which is nothing but sweetness thine.
    I can’t say whether I’m the server or the connoisseur,
    but wherever we are together, is the heavenly tavern for sure.
    – Me 😛

    That’s what came to mind reading this 🙂

  4. Frankly i’ve been on this one date in my entire life, and it wasn’t even a proper date. We had talked over the phone loads and even met once, through friends. It was just very very casual. Of course the fact that i knew her for 14 years was also there but we hadn’t meet for 13 of them. I hope you get what i’m trying to say. So we met, talked and went back home, our respective homes mind you. And then we never got to meet again. She shifted to Kuwait and i was too scared to invest in a relationship again. The fear part is actually half excuse since i didn’t find anyone after that. But thats a different issue altogether. What i find after reading your blog and listening to your podcast is that guys and girls have a different way of looking at a date. And then it even differs from person to person. I think stereotype kills. I think girls put too much in store for looks which aren’t really all that matters. I’ve a history of falling for or crushing on girls who care only about looks. And since i’m terribly unhandsome even if compared to umm…. some random dude i never got a chance of actually getting to be myself infront of her. Thats the thing that stings. Nothing else. Everything is cool in this world except that. I’m happy go lucky so i guess i could even live with that. 🙂 ( I’m Sorry for the extremely long comment/short post but i kinda lost control of my emotions. )

  5. oh I think I am ready to get hurt again..:P but being in a guys college doesn’t help …

  6. I love mix of both.

  7. Unfortunately, I’ve not yet dated anybody forget about relationship….eww

    BTW I’m also romantic as I’ve read Brida 😉

  8. i actually really hate dating. it’s so awkward, confusing, and draining. but i think that the norm as far as the way dating happens in the US versus India is probably pretty different. though indian guys here who have just come from india are the worst to date because they take what they consider the norm here to an extreme. not to stereotype, but that’s my experience.

  9. Are you really talking about India , I mean .. i am open to dating and like the concept too .. but how much of it is really happening openly in India , Probably in 4-5 major cities have handful of people who admit of have done dating (the way it works in US) ..

    Manish

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